Birth of a Child


The nurse holds up my first child, “It’s a boy!” Raymond Lewis Hines, III. What a moniker for such an innocent little tyke, but again I follow the “Father Knows Best” 50’s crowd and my husband’s request, naming son after father after grandfather.  “He’s beautiful. Perfect.” she says. I’ve missed the miracle. I smile stupidly, still out of it. Too many miracle drugs.

Next thing I know I’m in my room, the nurse is shaking me and dropping a bundle into my arms. I’ve opted to breastfeed, and have slept off enough of the drugs to focus. I see a lovely pink bald head, intense blue eyes, the perfectly formed ears. Will they be able to channel sound? All I want to do is rip off the swaddling, and explore him all over, but before I can check every inch of him he begins to whimper. I fumble about while the nurse makes gooing sounds trying to situate the baby’s already sucking mouth somewhere close to my breast. “Don’t worry. This is just a dry run, your milk isn’t in yet,” she says redundantly as she leaves me finally alone with my son.

I gaze at this wonder resting in my arms as the heat from his body seeps into mine both of us remembering that safe inner cavern from which he’s been expelled. I try to forget the past and the future and begin to relax in the moment. He knows nothing but. It works and I lose track of time. I touch, squeeze, explore this little extension of myself, unswaddling him bit by bit. He’s perfect. I can’t explain the communion of our two bodies, souls, whatever that I feel. We are joined. It is the most intense and comforting experience of my 24-year life.

We both are rudely awakened to cries of the nurse, “Thank God. He’s here!”

“What?” I jerk us both awake.

“The baby. We’d lost one in the nursery.”

I didn’t get it. “Huh?’

“You’re the only nursing mother of the dozen babies in here. We forgot he was with you.”


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Jill Green

I’m a lazy writer trying to get tech savvy. I’ve blurted into blogging to get some of my thoughts, cravings, interests, writings out into the web world. I live in Costa Rica and Florida. Most of my somewhat autobiographical writings are about those places. If you’re interested check in.

4 thoughts on “Birth of a Child”

  1. Wow! Burst of life and love and so much background detail about the times and the choices in only a short space of words… More please… 🙂

  2. Dearest Jill, Your story is so riveting to me. You know you and Raymond Lewis Hines III inspired my first profession as a teacher of the deaf. I remember riding to Ormond Beach w/Aunt Fif to visit you and your family and I fell in love with your son and knew I wanted to work with children with a challenge. Thank you for that. Love across the miles. M

  3. Dear Mary Bo,
    Now that you mentioned it, I do recall Mom Fif telling me that “Scooter” was one of the reasons you went into teaching the deaf. As you know it’s very hard to work with challenged children. You are such a caring person. Thank you for your kind words and keep reading. Hope to see you soon. Love, Jill

  4. Dearest Lara/Alex,
    You’ve been one of my best supporters on my blog. Thank you so much for following it and for your insightful comments. So glad we’re family. Love you, Jill

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