Costa Jill

With the arrival of Medicare, this my 65th year is slithering over me. If I could, I’d lose myself in drink or drugs, but the former gives me migraines and the latter, senility. I’m alternately freaking out by or blithely accepting my certain death, and thanking god (just an expression) there’s no eternity. Just contemplate it. Existing forever. Now that scares the shit out of me. I may not believe in god, but I believe in the instinct for survival. I believe in the spark of life that never goes out as it transfers from one life to another. It’s all in the interpretation, right?

I’ve learned that living my life, not as an earth mover, but doing one small act of kindness at a time, amongst all the other acts of living, is good enough, though infinitesimal.

One day I struggle on, sitting in the same little corner day after day, phone silent, inertia keeping from action. I sigh and do another Sudoku, read another newspaper, check for email, listen to NPR, eat crap.

Then something snaps and everything’s easy again. I’m back to feeling vivacious, vital, vigorous. I’m writing, doing yoga, communing with friends, eating good, and happy.

And that’s life, good, bad and indifferent. I’m living in the moment as long as it lasts.

Finally, I’ve had a fully fantastic flying dream. It’s been a long time. Dreaming is my other reality and a very important part of my life that just ain’t happening much these days. And flying – I’ve only had a smattering of those since my youth. Friday night we were camping at Rocky Ford on the Myakka River, FL. I was watching a bright moon pass over as I finally fell asleep.

Then my mother, my son Ray and I were puttering in the kitchen of an old Florida house, wide veranda and open doors drawing in the breeze. I noticed a strange shudder ripple the water in the sink. A quake? I looked out at a massing black funnel cloud barreling towards us, drawn by huge gusts of wind. Leaves, branches, soon, up-rooted trees flew by. The house rattled, banged, shook loose from its moorings (I know – Just like Dorothy’s in the Wizard of Oz.) and started spinning up through the air.
I grabbed mom’s hand and yelled at Ray to grab the other. As the house started dipping and diving towards earth, I saw a man standing, staring up at us, hand like an antenna raised high, fingers wide. As we slid down and off the veranda, the man reached out, until our fingers touched, hands linking, and pulled us back to earth like errant floating balloons. A fearless exhilarating energy infused us all in the moment.

Welcome back you crazy dreams. I’ve missed you.

I’m excited. Florida is finally a first. Really Gainesville. My son’s town. It is the first city in No. America to put into place, through the city-owned power plant, a feed-in tariff. Anyone can produce energy from renewable sources (mostly solar in Florida) and make a profit by selling it back to the power company. They would be paid a premium for doing so.
Our very own Fl. senator from Sarasota, and my neighbor, Keith Fitzgerald is co-authoring this bi-partisan bill with P. Kreegel to make it statewide. This would be a great step in the direction of achieving the goal Gov. Crist has made of getting 20% of our energy from renewable sources by 2020.
This will only raise bills a few cents, and depending on the amount of solar energy produced, it can become a profitable business. One man, according to the Sarasota Herald Tribune, can make $14K with 100 solar panels.
Hey California watch out. Florida might sneak on past you on energy saving issues. I’d love some feedback on feed-in tariffs.